Enduring a Very Painful Childbirth

"...apart from me you can do nothing." -- John 15:5

I could probably say that the my first pregnancy was moderately difficult. The first trimester was easy and it only got kind of hard on the fifth month when a kidney, which I never knew I had, got dislodged in my ureter and I was hospitalized twice to manage the pain.

Then the third trimester came. Braxton-Hicks contractions came early and strong. On the eighth month, I thought I was already giving birth. It was difficult to get around because of the contractions and the pain on my back and the cramps on my legs. But I was not dilated still.

However, a day before the 38th week, my bag of water leaked--minimally at first. But I was hospitalized, given drugs to soften the cervix as I was only 1cm dilated, and then induced the next morning. The contractions were so strong that I would pass out every two minutes after a 30-second contraction. I thought I was lying in the labor room for several hours already as I was already having dreams, when in reality only a few minutes had passed. By around 6pm of the second day, I already begged for an epidural because I couldn't stand the pain anymore.

I thought I was just a weakling, but the doctor said that my contractions were really strong, according to the fetal monitor. My uterus, my doctor said, could possibly rupture because of the strength of the contractions.

Despite drumming myself up for the most positive and efficient childbirth scenario, mine was less than inspirational. The pregnant women who would talk me after my delivery ended up getting scared for their impending delivery.

During the early part of the induced labor while the pain was still tolerable, I would keep on singing praises to God. But during the more intense contractions, I would cry out to God when I was conscious, "Lord, please deliver me from this pain, I can't take this anymore." Then I would again praise Him.

Although I was short of complaining to God why I had to go through such pain, when I look back, I can't help but think if God wasn't with me. Could I really have gone through so much pain and survive? It was His strength that not just augment but perfected my weakness in my toughest moment.

Today, when I read John 15:5, I was reminded of what I went through and how God was with me. Why He allowed me to go through such an experience is beyond me, but what I know is, He was and still continues to be with me all the time. In fact, if He were not with me, I don't think I was able to endure the pain.